Dear Health Insurance Provider,

Dear Health Insurance Provider,

It's time you and I had a chat. 

While this may be hard to understand, the very nature of living with a chronic condition is that it requires regular attention. I understand that this poses an inconvenience to you, because that means that every month you must process paperwork for the same drugs and the same services. That's probably a lot of work. And likely a lot of money. Let me break a few things down for you:

  1. The more conversations we have about what supplies are covered and which ones aren't, the longer it takes to get the things I need. The longer it takes to get the supplies I need, the greater I am placed at risk. The greater I am placed at risk, the more you are liable. 
  2. You don't get to decide how I treat my condition, or in what way. Those decisions are up to me and my doctor. And no, I am not going to discuss those decisions with you, though I can describe to you, for the fourteenth time, the difference between type 1 and type 2 diabetes, even though you are a grown-up and can Google that shit yourself.
  3. Please don't refer me to your website. Your website is terrible.

You're right; I'm lucky to be covered at all, because without you, the things I need to live a healthy life would be so expensive that I wouldn't be living a healthy life. You and I, we need each other. I'm willing to spend my lunch breaks and Sunday mornings on the phone with you, you, who are in Alabama or Missouri or Tennessee, you who probably have this conversation with hundreds of other people just like me. There are thousands of us out here, asking for expensive medical supplies and appointments with specialists and brand-name drugs. We must appear so anonymous, so faceless, so very annoying to you. And you're right. We are annoying. We are annoying because if we were anything less, we wouldn't get the care we need. We ask for your name, and your supervisor's name, and you better believe we'll call back tomorrow.

I care about you, Health Insurance Provider. I care so much that it affects my blood sugar, which means I need more test strips, which means I need more from you. Are things beginning to make sense? 

I'm glad we had this chat. Something tells me we'll be having this again soon.

Until then, I remain your faithful - and annoying - patron.